i need to release my fustration at this point.
i strive to be wanted and good enough for everyone. It still seems that i cant please anyone and that life will never change for me. I want to be wanted and i want other people to feel that i am just as important. I feel that life is never going to get eiasier and that i am always going to be let down. I feel that even if i am married that i will fall back into heartbreak and im terrified i see my parents fight constantly and never happy and i am scared i will be the same. Life is just going to be about heartbreak and i dont know how to deal with it. I always need help and hate asking for it. I dont want to bother people cause i feel that my emotions will rub off on them. Dissapointment is my biggest fear and insecurity i have nightmares every night about dissapointing someone and they never seem to go away. I try to be nice to everyone but its hard to heal what they have done to me in the past. i want to be like other girls living life and getting to be loved by everyone. it seems easy and nice to be in their shoes. No one sees what i go through on a daily basis, i hide it as much as i can with lokking good i want to be remebered as the girl who looked good and never complained. Its hard really hard to be in my shoes. i am depened on alot and i am expected to be the best and do the best i can but when you see what an emotional wreck i am on the inside people will finally back off but if i let them see how weak i am i may just fall apart and NEVER be able to get back up. My mom puts the most stress on me i am the favored and expected to always do my best. if i let her down i will never hear the last of it. Disappointment is a feeling that i am used to by now and being let down is an everyday occurence. its hard really hard to stay composed through all of this bullcrap. Really hard.
(via imgTumble)
(Source: dont-forgett-to-remember-me, via a-look-inside-my-life)
